I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
