Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
