My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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