I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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