is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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