I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
