Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
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