under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
