ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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