Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Randomize
