I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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