You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
