weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
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