i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize