Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
