I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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