Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
We smell like vodka and hangover
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