I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
