I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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