we're blogging at a bar
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
A+ Viking dick
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
