just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
