we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize