That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
