I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
