The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
