I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
