He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize