I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
