I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
You're a waste of cheezeits
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
