Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
