we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
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