Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Ketchup is God's man juice
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize