so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Also, beer. Big fan.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize