Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
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