i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
