i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
