Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
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