david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
