He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
This is the high leading the old right now
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
