Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Randomize