This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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