you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
