just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Randomize
