I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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