She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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