The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
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