she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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