But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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