My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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