piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
