His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I have so many feelings about this burrito
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
