he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize
