Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
