So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
