I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I party with great urgency now.
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