ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
