Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
What changed your mind?
Being sober
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
