were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize