My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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