i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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