he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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