I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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