yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
As shirtless as possible
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Cover your peen. We're going out.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
