I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize