Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
she looked like the before picture.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
