Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
