she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Randomize
