Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
