so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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