hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
